June 09,2020

“BUT I DIGRESS“ consists of “HEAD TREKS” that represent the conversion of random thoughts, sometimes as “QUICK TREKS”, observations, philosophies and rants into a form of modern cursive expression better known as computer keyboarding. From time to time these thoughts are also summarized under the heading “IT REMAINS TO BE SEEN: QUESTIONS I CANNOT PRESENTLY ANSWER.” Additional and sometimes more easily readable blogs can be accessed at headtrekking.blogspot.ca


“Good day. You have reached 911. We hope you are keeping safe, maintaining social distancing and wearing a mask. Remember, be kind, be patient and be calm. How may we help you today?”

“I need to speak to the police. This is an emergency. Four people have broken into my house. They have raped and killed my mother, killed my father and I think they are looking for me to do the same.”

“Thank you for your phone call to 911. Please be advised that this call may be recorded for quality and training purposes. From where are you calling please?”

“I am hiding under the bed and whispering so that maybe they may not find me before you send the police to help me.”

“Thank you for your request. Please be advised that we no longer have a police department, but we are certainly interested in hearing of any problems you might be having, and for which we might be able to help you.”

“But I need help now. I think if these people find me they will kill me too.”

“As a community-led safety organization, we stand ready to aid you in whatever way is suitable for your particular problem. In order that we might direct you to the proper unit that may optimize this help, be it the social services department, gender equality department, street vending department, solidarity department or whatever, we will require a description of the four people that you allege have entered your house in an allegedly uninvited manner.”

“For God’s sake, I need help now. I can hear them trashing the house and searching every room looking for me. They will kill me if they find me.”

“Just a brief description will do ma’am, if I may be permitted to address you by that appellation, so that we may undertake to help you in a timely fashion.”

“I can’t give you a detailed description of them. I took to hiding under the bed when I heard them kill my father and rape my mother, but I think they consist of three men and a woman; and one might be a minority.”

“A minority and a woman? My goodness. We will unfortunately require you to fill out two forms before we can attend to this matter. Should you not possess a computer and printer, you will be allowed to fill out the forms online and forward them to our department. We advise you to attend to this matter at your earliest convenience so that we might respond in an equally expeditious manner to your problem”

“In the meantime, stay safe and remember, we are all in this together. May I have an appropriate electronic address so that the required forms might be forwarded to you?”



“Are you still there?”

Copyright © 2020 Ian de W. Semple

Posted by Ian Semple at 04:29


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