“BUT I DIGRESS“ consists of “HEAD TREKS” that represent the conversion of random thoughts, sometimes in the form of “QUICK TREKS”, observations, philosophies and rants into a form of modern cursive expression better known as computer keyboarding. From time to time these thoughts are also summarized under the heading “IT REMAINS TO BE SEEN: QUESTIONS I CANNOT PRESENTLY ANSWER.”

WORLD COW COMMERCE IN CANADA – Part 2

During these days of world political unrest amid competing political systems, world cow commerce may serve to remind us with singular simplicity of the underlying philosophies that distinguish how societies conduct business that in turn affect the communities therein. This month’s blog reviews in part how this writer views world cow commerce to be practiced in certain sectors of Canada.

BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad, so you attempt to sell the beef to the French and Canadians who refuse to buy them. You then initiate complaints to Brussels about the French, claiming unfair discriminatory competition practices within the EU. Furthermore, you plant one mad cow in Alberta by stealthily flying it in during nightfall and then happen to be part of the examining team two days later who find that in fact BSE is now in Canada, This allows you to sell more beef to the Canadians but not before arranging the sale to Canada of 10 submarines which failed to gain acceptance in the Royal Navy; largely because whether commanded to do so or not, they tended to head for the sea bottom.

CANADIAN VALUES

You have 2 cows in a 1 cow market. The federal government pays you to breed even more cows and takes exclusive control over the marketing of their milk, charging consumers exorbitant prices that would appear to reflect a serious milk shortage. The government later requests where in Florida you want your subsidy cheques sent during the winter months. Under the philosophy of the federal government and based on political objectives, this form of commerce is called supply management. For the population as a whole, it is called extortion.

QUEBEC

You own 2 cows in a province where nobody drinks milk anymore. You petition the government for subsidies sufficient to support a herd of 1,000 cows, threatening to separate from Canada unless you receive the money. The government then sends you enough subsidies to finance a herd of 10,000 cows. You take the money and distribute part of it back to government bag men and the prevailing political party in power while using the rest to promote the separatism of Quebec from the rest of the country. The population rewards you by electing the party’s leader as Prime Minister of Canada. You then establish a sponsorship fund to finance programs that will teach the cows bilingualism.

ONTARIO

You own 2 cows that you declare are the highest quality cows ever raised in Canada and that are the result of the independent, shrewd capitalist know-how devoid of government hand-outs that exist in every other province but Ontario…………allegedly! In exchange for showing this unparalleled national business leadership as well as representing the critical swing-vote province in the country, you then quietly accept government kickbacks for the capital cost of your barn, feed for the cows, money for the milking machines, tax rebates for the milk, wage subsidies for the six farm hands you say are needed to mind the 2 cows, and special accelerated depreciation and write-offs for all your equipment and that nobody else gets for theirs, including ten thousand solar panels and a gigantic wind mill to power the three light bulbs in your barn. To finance this “independent shrewd capitalist know-how” the Ontario government takes on the largest amount of non-national sovereign debt in the world.

ALBERTA

You own 2 cows and are prepared to shoot the first person who says otherwise.

To be continued………….

Copyright © 2018 Ian de W. Semple. All rights reserved.