BUT I DIGRESS
January 14,2020
Preface to new book "(MOSTLY) INSOUCIENT POPOURRI"

(MOSTLY) INSOUCIENT POPOURRI

Preface

While the original objective of this new book was to create a major fictional non-fiction, global warming based, politically incorrect, criminal crime comedy, biographical mystery story, certain circumstances prevented the realization of that intention.

Aspiring to create a series of unforgettable characters, one of which can be seen on the front cover of the book, the original book’s plot revolved around real estate agent Sure Lock Homes, together with his partner Docked Her What Son(?) who were in reality under the covers privates detectives working to solve major crimes of intimacy between unconsenting members and other body parts.

While the power of Home’s compelling personality can be seen in his picture on the front cover of this book, of major interest in the original story were the eccentricities of Homes that often had to be balanced through corrective actions administered by the boringly conventional What Son(?).

Thus, while Homes added vaping to his already prodigious pipe smoking habit, it was only when he attempted to dispel the vapours by way of a rectal cavity, that What Son(?) had to put a cork to that habit as it were.

This was but one of the exciting segments of the story that the author fully believed would cause the book to rank highly low on the New York Thymes Best Cellar List.

Unfortunately while bringing the manuscript to his publisher, the author tripped over a beer bottle in the hallway of his apartment, and all the pages, unnumbered as they were, fell in widely scattered disarray over a wide area both inside and outside of the open front door. Their random distribution was unfortunately further exacerbated by the author’s dog loudly breaking wind, which further scattered the pages, and by his cat thinking that the manuscript was a large litter box to be used for the latter’s designed purposes.

The consequence of this was that the author, having with great difficulty retrieved all the pages of his manuscript, if in a completely discombobulated sequence, said ‘the hell with it’ to himself, gave the now randomly distributed pages to his publisher and had the book published “as is” in its present form.

Sorry about that.


Posted by Ian Semple at 01:33

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January, 2020