One of the “joys” of the two main North American democracies is that both the adults who built these democracies as well as the newer, voting-eligible if entitlement-ridden, thumb-skilled, but nonetheless potential future adult components of the population, get to have an official erection every four or five years. Mind you, within the many other administrative sub-territorial entities of government, meaning states, provinces, cities, towns, counties, parishes, boroughs and other jurisdictions dreamed up by politicians where additional monies can be extracted from citizens in the name of government administration, otherwise known as waste, erections can be much more frequent and result in these smaller political entities having their members re-erected or replaced by new members who can flaunt their purportedly new if same old wares, but done under a different and allegedly more attractive set of official lies.
Having had one in Canada in 2015 and where the incumbent Prime Monster was replaced by the shallow, life-deficient, selfie-obsessed son of a former one, it is now an erection year in the United States. As such, our American friends are enjoying, or otherwise, a pre-erection period that is even longer and more painful than our own; if you will pardon not only the analogy but the double pun…………if you can find it.
Having a population more than ten times that of Canada, the number of members seeking erection in the USA are accordingly significantly greater than was the case in Canada. Similarly is the level of rhetoric and bull***t; the latter, in a twist of basic physics, to be measured not only by its depth but by the heightened sonic resonance of its production.
There are two main par tees in American political golf; the Demo Rats and Re Public Ants. While the former operate under the symbol of the donkey and the latter the elephant, evolution over the years has brought them so close as to be both of the serpent species. Same tails but different heads, although this time there is the brand new potential for a tailless head change.
In the process of nominating their final erection candy date, plenty of the latter hopefuls abounded, especially for the Re Public Ants whose number of aspirants appeared to total more than the population of Canada.
The Demo Rats on the other hand, perhaps realising the anger of the American public about the current government of useless twits and their Head Twit in particular, were understandably perhaps less inclined to venture into a pit of unknown viperous candy dates; preferring to leave it to the known leader in that category, none other than Hilarious Clin Tone, the wife of a former Head Twit. The latter, despite his Billing as a straight “what you see is what you get guy”, tended to straighten himself under his desk more often than not before managing to avoid impeachment by the skin of his little head. Hilly, nicknamed perhaps for the numerous bumps on both her physical and personal profile, and skirting as it were the issue of husband Willy’s bull’s eye delivered to Harmonica’s lisps, has had to deal with her own alleged improprieties. Who knows in what state that will leave her aspirations to become Head Twit?
Meanwhile, leading the Re Public Ant rant has been Don Old Trumpet of “Hair Today Gong Tomorrow” fame. Defaming everyone in sight, he has managed to both inflame the entire population while at the same time vocalizing, if in a crude and offensive manner, the anger and resentment of the same entire population over the actions, or better said, inactions of the current Head Twit and his party of Demo Rats as well as the focused and institutionalized self-interest of all par tees over the past several generations at the expense of responsible taxpayers.
All in all and as it was for Canada, the next while promises to achieve the heights of political lowness for Americans. Hopefully, the entertainment factor will serve to at least partly alleviate the pain.
Copyright © 2016 Ian de W. Semple